Monday, January 26, 2009

Issues with Tissues

Toilet paper rolls are so annoying. At home, no one ever finishes the roll. They leave 2 little squares left for the next person and unless Panda the Hamster is squatting over the bowl, there ain't nobody here who thinks that is going to cut it.

And so change the roll! If there is none under the sink, go check the other 2 bathrooms in the house. Still no toilet paper, then tell me. I can pick some up or I might have a hidden stash somewhere.

I hate having to pee while out and about. What gets me are those industrial size rolls of toilet paper in a public restroom. When the roll is new and you have to try and find the start? I swear I need to find the glue they use to stick down that first sheet. I have spent way too much time, bent over with my hand at an awkward angle, trying to get that first sheet started. That is the strongest glue known to man. I could hang siding with that glue. After scratching ineffectively for sometime, I finally resort to tearing into the roll with my nails and coming away with bits of fluff that, while doing the job, they will bits and pieces that scare the crap (figuratively) by looking like maggots in your panties later.

And how you hang it matters apparently, as I found out from these directions. And what was with the brown scratchy stuff I came across in the airport at Amsterdam? Ouch!

* dedicated to Michael at Do you hate it too, who lots of issues with tissues.


  1. MHP will take the last piece, then get a roll and set it either balance it on top of the empty roll, or set it behind the toilet. DRIVES ME FUCKING NUTS!!!

  2. Yes, I wasn't aware there was a wrong way either until I started living with Marcus. Although I don't know why he cares, he doesn't change the roll either.

  3. You've inadvertently blogged about another thing that I hate too and have already written about here. I dislike having to see the empty roll there.

    There are some slothful people living in my home.


  4. I do a power-trip thing sometimes...if I see that the roll is almost empty (read:2 squares left) I see how long it will stay like that and sneak paper from a fresh roll in the cupboard under the sink...trouble is it could stay like that for days since my husband does most of his "work" at work-thank God!