Thursday, April 16, 2009

This is why guys buy soap on a rope

This is an actual billboard located across the street from a local police station and jail.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

More Keyword Search Results

Google Analytics tells me what words were searched that brought people to my blog.
Since January 1st there have been 223 different keywords used to reach me.
Between April 2nd to April 15th, there were 97 searches about Farm Town so many people are obsessing as I was. But it is the random others that I find interesting. Here is a sampling:

50th b-day voodoo doll
chances of teens getting tapeworm from cat
cheese fetish
Chris wants only sex
I pissed txt
three girls who ate a tapeworm
what is the green stuff bleeding from a cat
what is my cat’s real name
why is my life is so shitty
god help me in business
graphic of shit
holding hands in public + lesbians
how to make a metal slide slick
I ate my mom’s shit
I turn my head to the left and I see double
if cocaine ate away your brain what would you feel like
Khols dead cat
life can be shitty
my cat ate:
A magnet
my cat only likes the left side of my head
my cosmo girls + bondage
my life is shit kids
my mom blows me pix
Norway capital of Sweden
to feel violated
nipple middle of chest

Now many of these are pretty obvious to me how they got to my blog but I truly don't remember blogging about having a nipple in the middle of my chest or even knowing anyone who has one. I even googled it but I didn't come up with my blog nor did google have a good picture of someone with a nipple middle of chest which I would have posted here for everyone.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I think Bill Murray should get some royalities from this company ripping off this from Caddy Shack

Spokane parks to detonate squirrels

SPOKANE, Wash. -- The Finch Arboretum is being overrun by ground squirrels, and Spokane Parks and Recreation is bringing in some special artillery.

The agency is using a special machine called the Rodenator Pro to detonate some of the estimated 100 to 150 squirrels tearing up the grounds.

Shades of Carl Spackler, the gopher-hating groundskeeper from "Caddyshack."

The Rodenator Pro pumps propane and oxygen into the tunnels of squirrels, then sends an electric spark that causes an explosion. The shock waves kill the squirrels and collapse their tunnels - but in a humane way, the agency said.

Spokanimal, which is the local animal shelter and Humane Society chapter, was caught by surprise by Monday's announcement.

"You're kidding," Director Gail Mackie said when she learned the news. "That borders on cruelty."

Mackie said she would investigate the practice.

The parks department is warning area residents that it plans to blast squirrels all week, and to not be alarmed by noises that sound like gun shots. Parks officials said police have already been called to the arboretum by people who heard the explosions.

Timing is crucial. Parks officials said they want to detonate their prey before the animals start reproducing.

Parks officials said ground squirrels have been a minor problem for years, but their population is, well, exploding.

The squirrels dig tunnels and holes that people can trip on or fall into, the agency said. They eat new tree roots, can spread disease and are spreading to neighboring yards.

Gas bombs were tried in the past, but were not effective, the agency said.

Enter the Rodenator, a product whose workings have been captured on numerous YouTube videos. The company is based in Midvale, Idaho, and promises on its Web site that its product is effective against the "saber-toothed gopher."

Friday, April 10, 2009

Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunnytrail

It's Easter this weekend and that means I have to dig out the baskets and the egg coloring supplying and we can all pretend that the Easter Bunny is coming to our house.
My kids are 13, 18 and 27 but they still like to color eggs. It becomes a competition on who can make the most interesting eggs. There is a lot of dipping and over dyeing until the perfect egg is to be had. I will boil a couple dozen eggs for this adventure. The mess is colossal but they seem to have fun, right?

On Easter morning, I will have laid out 2 baskets for the younger kids (sorry, Brianne, you and Marcus can get your own baskets, you don't live here). They will each get a chocolate bunny, some jelly beans or other egg shaped candies and Reese's Peanut Butter cups of some form. I have to carefully count out each candy so no one gets more than the other. Fair is fair, right? Of course what usually happens is that no one eats their candy, they just leave it laying around and I have to eat it just to get it out of the house.

Then we have the annual egg hunt in the back yard. Rob and I will hide the eggs while Nik and Aaron get ready. This is a competition that is cut throat. It's very important to them on who is the winner. There is no prize. Just the joy of gloating and calling their sibling a LOSER! Me?, I just want them to find all the eggs as I don't want to discover one sometime in July. Then we eat a few for breakfast, although the kids decide which eggs get to be cracked as they don't want their "special" ones touched. Gee, now we get to have eggs rot in the fridge instead. Except I will make egg salad on Monday after they go back to school.

After our egg hunt we will head to my godmother's house for an early dinner, drinking, and another egg hunt. Lots of little kids, mass chaos but unlike our early morning hunt, less blood. Then it's off to my in-laws for another dinner but no egg hunt (thank god).

I love the holidays with the family.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Get your deck ready for nice weather

I'm very fortunate at my house. I have a big deck in my back yard. You can have all kinds of fun with a big deck. I think back about the parties we have had on this deck. My husband Rob is very proud of his big deck. As he should be, not everyone has as nice a deck as we do. He keeps his deck nice and clean. A man who takes care of his deck is a good man indeed!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I was thinking it was the Winter of our discontent. And it too shall pass....Spring has sprung.

I never thought that spring would happen this year. We have had more snowy mornings in the past few months that I can ever remember living here in the wet side of Washington State. I don't do winter very well, face it, I'm a wimp around snow and ice. I think it's pretty and all, but what I don't like is that it is slippery as hell and I don't like to fall. Well, the falling isn't really the problem it's the landing. You'd think that all my padding would protect me, but all that fat does is make nice big colorful bruises. So woo hoo! It's now Spring!

Then I realize, everything is budding, the birds are singing and I am sneezing and wheezing. I can't breathe, my nose is either stuffy or dripping. I wake up each day and have to trowel out the corners of my eyes which are weeping from the pollen. I spent an hour in the garden today and that was all I could take. I'm going to pop a pill, suck on my inhaler and take a nap. I'll dream about how lovely my garden will be when the garden gnomes come and finish the weeding for me.

BTW, the Korean ladies outside the H-Mart gave me a packet of tissues with bible verses on them. Now God will bless me every time I blow my nose.