Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Wardrobe Malfunction or Weapons of Mass Destruction?

I went to the dentist for a cleaning today (I have no cavities and I got stars for all my flossing. Thanks for asking) and while I'm laying feet up, blood draining to my brain, I feel something funny going on with my boobs. Now before you think the dentist, who is a babe for a 50 yr old guy, is having his way, the answer to that is no. I look up (since I've got my feet up, my boobs are up not down) and I see what looks like a third nipple pushing out of the middle of my chest. I slide my hand under that paper towel with the alligator clips that is protecting me from blood spatters and feel around. It's the underwire of my bra. It has popped it's casing and working it's way outward. I push it back down, but now it just looks like I'm fondling myself and it won't go back in, in fact, it's sticking out more. I'm sure the hygienist was wondering WTF. So I told her. "My girls are escaping! They have broken free of their restraints and are going to take over the world." Somehow she managed to finish cleaning my teeth while my new tit pushed further out. By now it looks more like a tiny penis that is pointing west. I finish up and consider trying to repair things in the restroom, but I'm not equipped to handle things here. I don't want to pull the wire all the way out, as then I will have one nice perky boob and one hanging to my knees. So I just pull my sweater over the growing appendage and make my way to the car. Once safely home, I repaired things and the girls are safe back in their place.

Remember, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!



  2. LOL!!!! My underwire busted out in middle of the kids birthday part. There was no hiding it.

  3. Oh dear God, you are so funny!!

    P.S. Honestly, I was just tongue in cheek in my blog.....kinda. I really would have been devestated had it been you, Allie, Lex, Janna or E. As a matter of fact, I would have thrown up! ha,ha!


  4. Chris you kill me! I love that you actually told them, most people would just go about it with no explation! You my dear rock! What you could have pulled a Janet with some fun stars ... LOL