Sunday, February 1, 2009

What Chris Wants

I saw a blog the other day that said to go out and google your first name and "needs". I tried that but there is a Chris Needs person out there and I didn't like the results. So I changed the directive to "Chris wants" because, face it, I want a lot of things. I figure who better knows what I want than the all mighty oracle "Google" So here are some of my "wants":

Chris wants boobs - Actually, I'd like perkier boobs, age and gravity have taken their toll

Chris wants flowers NOW! - Say it with Flowers, hint hint.

Chris wants to Battle - Frankly I don't like to fight but a little wii competition, maybe

Chris wants your questions - Go ahead, ask away. If I don't know the answer, I promise to make up something good.

Chris wants out - Help me, I'm stuck cleaning house

Chris wants my kiss kiss - Kiss kiss my what what?

Chris wants to become a singer - American Idol, here I come. I can't carry a tune in a fish.

Chris wants to change her name - to Matilda

Chris wants you to call for help - and send over the Maid Brigade

Chris wants more of the same - Maid service once a week?? Yes!

Chris wants to find the perfect outfit - I need to find the perfect body first.

Chris wants to adopt like Brangelina - Just shoot me now.

Chris wants Empress crowns, not porcelain to metal - I'm thankful I have my own teeth. All bought and paid for.

Chris wants to build thinking machines to do some of our thinking for us - Duh, isn't that what my computer is doing right now?

Chris wants to plunder the wreckage - Plunder sounds like pirates, argh!

Chris wants to secure the border and enforce existing immigration law - I just want to remember to close the gate and keep the neighbor's dog out of my yard.

Chris wants to have sex with cousin - Excuse me, I have my own teeth and don't live in Arkansas, ewww!

Chris wants to make a documentary film - About what?

Chris wants to highlight the importance of looking after the world for future generations - This might make a good documentary film subject

Chris wants to eat the chocolate easter egg that's upstairs - Sorry, I love chocolate but I have my limits. Any easter eggs upstairs are too too old to eat. Now the Christmas candy...

Chris wants to start acting more serious - What?!? and cause everyone to drop dead?

Chris wants a portable cassette play for Christmas - To go with the Sony Betamax in the garage!! oh goody!

Chris wants to contribute something positive and loving to the world - Well, that surely isn't this blog, eh?


  1. The first thing that comes up is a You Tube video-"Caroline wants a sausage"...hmmmm....not sure where to go with that(yeah, right!)

  2. Those are awesome wants! Love your new background!

  3. i might have to try this. pretty funny!