Saturday, July 11, 2009

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to

I was up at the butt crack of dawn this morning - that's 3:30am, to take my hubs up to meet his friends for a 2 day bike ride. The STP (Seattle to Portland) is a 1 or 2 day 200+ mile road trip for fun. I get the pleasure of taking him on Saturday morning to start and then drive to Portland on Sunday to drag his sorry ass home again. I've started taking Nicole with me so I have someone to talk to on the ride there and back. She gets to do some taxfree shopping at the mall so its a win win situation.

While we were driving at 3:30am this morning Rob and I started talking about small towns and their school systems. He was saying that he is staying in Winlock tonight and they only have one elem, one middle and one high school. This got me thinking about my first steady boyfriend I had when I was 16. He lived a one horse town and was bussed to a 2 horse town for school. All grades were housed in one building. His senior class had 6 students. I came from an inner city high school, we had almost 400 in just our class.

I met Steven at our vacation property. His grandparents had a place there and we met at the lake. It was a last minute summer romance. We decided to stay in touch via the mail. This was a long long time ago, before the Internet. It was snail mail all the way. He lived 50 miles from me, I didn't see him but about once a month or so. But as a teenager I gained ground with my friends as I had an actual boyfriend and none of them did. I was not a very nice girlfriend to him tho, I flirted with other guys, went to parties to hit on guys. I liked having the idea of a boyfriend, just not the responsibilities involved. Summer came and we headed out to our vacation property. My dad was retired so we spent pretty much all summer during the week out there. Dad didn't like the weekends there so we would go home for them. This was not good for my social life at the lake. All the good parties were on the weekends. I had made some girl friends out there so I started staying with their families on the weekends. At least that was what we would say. We would end up at someones empty cabin sans parents and get very drunk. One of these weekends I lost my virginity and it wasn't with my boyfriend. OOOPPS! My boyfriend I hardly saw as he was working most of the summer. He did finally make arrangements to come to the lake on the eve of our one year anniversary. I was so over him at this point and wanted to break up but thought it was too harsh to do it in a letter or on the phone so I just continued to have a good time and keep stringing him along until the big day. I plotted out the breakup, discussed with my girl friends what I was going to say. I so broke his heart, he cried. I was disgusted at his weak behavior. I was a cold hearted bitch. I loved it.

So I'm telling this story to the hubs this morning and he just looks at me like, WTF! I said, I had to break up with him, I was starting my senior year, I didn't want to be tied down! I asked him if he had ever plotted for weeks to break up with someone. He said, OMG no!

I then told him it wasn't nearly as satisfying as when I got rid of my first husband, the Sperm Donor. Rob just shook his head, kissed me goodbye and road off into the dawn's early light.


  1. yea. your a cold hearted whore. congratu-fucking-lations.

  2. Wow. For once, I am speechless.