Norway is Not the Capital of Sweden

My sister who lives in Norway, turned me onto this video that I just had to share.

Norway you Rock!!!

Blowing off the Snow

During the next heavy snow fall, there is an economical way to keep that roof clean of all that heavy snow.

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a prince who slept in the buff. He had a very sensitive behind and would jump up in the middle of the night if he felt anything on the bed, a grain of sand, a hair, a wrinkle in the sheet. This would wake up and annoy the princess as she could sleep on a pile of nails without noticing. Once she slept on a penny all night long and Lincoln's face was embedded in her ass for a long time.

The princess would complain to the prince that he was OCD but he just brushed off his feet and the sheets each and every night. The princess would not brush off her feet and if there was a foreign object in the bed, she would just gently push it over to the prince's side and get to sleep.

One day the princess found an unpopped popcorn kernel and had an idea. She placed this kernel under the 3 inch thick mattress pad exactly where the prince's butt would be when he slept. Then she waited....

For 3 nights the prince tossed and turned and complained that he didn't know why he was having such bad nights. He said it was like he was sleeping on a pile of nails! Being the detective that the prince is, he decided to investigate further. He removed the sheet and lifted the mattress pad and found that kernel. He was like, "AHA!" He knew that was what caused his discomfort. He was so pleased until he realized that kernel didn't crawl under there itself!

Moral: You can tell a true prince by how sensitive his ass is.

Blurtitis or is it Tourettes?

My husband is a nice guy. He does nice things, he says nice things, he thinks nice things. He doesn't get me. If I comment or ask him about a particularly annoying person, he will always find something nice to say about them. It is a gift. It must be something you are born with because it ain't in my jeans or genes.

I asked him today if it was hard for him not to blurt out what he really thought, that he must be suppressing snarky things since I spend most of my day doing just that. I try really hard to keep my thoughts to myself but damn, when something is bugging me or I observe something that absolutely necessitates a comment, I tend to blurt it out. I'm not trying to be cruel, I honestly think I'm funny. Rob says he doesn't have this problem as he doesn't have random opinions shooting around in his head looking for an outlet.

Rob likes to sit close to me, I thought it was because he loves me so much, but I think now it's to censure me. He will flick his finger against my thigh as a warning to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Of course Rob would never say FUCK, I don't think he is capable.

For example: We were at the pool and there was this poor kid who had a large mole in his back that was dark and hairy. I kind of blurted out to my friend, "OMG, he's got a hamster on his back!" It was huge and bushy and I'm sure it caused drag while swimming. Come on parents, at least clip it!! Rob is busy thumping my leg to shut me up, while my friend is rolling off the bleachers laughing. No one but the 3 of us heard it, so what's the problem?

It really hard living with such a nice guy. I try really hard to keep my thoughts in but the voices in my head really need to be let out! It's exhausting trying to be nice when funny things are happening that need to be pointed out. My dad was a funny guy and my mom didn't get him either.

Mom used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." My dad said, "If you can't say something nice, just make sure it's funny." But Olympia Dukakis said it best in Steel Magnolias, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, come sit by me!"

Police Work

My husband emailed me 15 photos from work. 15 photos of the new men's locker room at the station. More specificly, 15 photos of the bathroom stalls. They were having a grand opening celebration and dedication ceremony of some of the stalls. My hubby works with very uptight guys, who do much of their detective work from their favorite stall. It's well known that certain people can usually be found in their dedicated stall.

I'm not trying to say that I think my husband and the other officers are guilty of wasting time. I think it's just the thing they need to do to sometimes. Their job can be very despressing and can cause tension. I think it's great they can have so much fun and let their hair down.

It takes a special person to be a cop and a sense of humor, even potty humor is a plus.