Once upon a time there was a prince who slept in the buff. He had a very sensitive behind and would jump up in the middle of the night if he felt anything on the bed, a grain of sand, a hair, a wrinkle in the sheet. This would wake up and annoy the princess as she could sleep on a pile of nails without noticing. Once she slept on a penny all night long and Lincoln's face was embedded in her ass for a long time.The princess would complain to the prince that he was OCD but he just brushed off his feet and the sheets each and every night. The princess would not brush off her feet and if there was a foreign object in the bed, she would just gently push it over to the prince's side and get to sleep.
One day the princess found an unpopped popcorn kernel and had an idea. She placed this kernel under the 3 inch thick mattress pad exactly where the prince's butt would be when he slept. Then she waited....
For 3 nights the prince tossed and turned and complained that he didn't know why he was having such bad nights. He said it was like he was sleeping on a pile of nails! Being the detective that the prince is, he decided to investigate further. He removed the sheet and lifted the mattress pad and found that kernel. He was like, "AHA!" He knew that was what caused his discomfort. He was so pleased until he realized that kernel didn't crawl under there itself!
Moral: You can tell a true prince by how sensitive his ass is.
Oh dear, this sounds an awful lot like my husband and the nightly drama known as "Pillow Fluffing".
ReplyDeleteHe's lucky I don't just put them over his face. ;-)