Religious Guilt

My best friend has Catholic Guilt. This is a disease, it must be. You get it from priests and nuns. It differs from Jewish Guilt which comes from Jewish mothers. My ex was Jewish and suffered from Jewish Guilt. Jewish Guilt is transferable. What I mean is you can't get rid of it, but your mother as a carrier can give it to your wife and then you have the guilt with her. Although I wasn't Jewish, I was able to use the guilt, bring it out and air it, when needed. It helped in the divorce. I was able to get the kids, the house, most of the possessions and the good car. Unfortunately the good car got totalled the day after the divorce was final. This was probably God looking out for the Jewish boy over the shikseh who took everything he had.

Now Catholic Guilt I know nothing about. Growing up in Ballard, where every other kid I knew was a PK (preacher's kid), they all knew that being bad wasn't wrong unless you got caught. Since they were all Lutherans and Norwegians, everyone was drinking and didn't know what their kids were up to, so we were all ok. I'm sure now, that this wasn't the way and we were all sinning up a storm, but we weren't too worried as long as no one was bleeding, dead or pregnant.

My friend, who is named Mary after the mother of Jesus, I assume, is riddled with guilt. Everything she does seems to get analysed as to possible reprecussions from God. She is sure that her kids will die because of some perceived sin, either current or in past, that she has committed. It must be a terrible burden to carry the weight of the world on you. She was sure we were going to be struck down by a bolt of lightening when we dressed up as nuns to take our kids trick or treating. I just humored her along, as I sipped my hot buttered rum in my Girl Scout mug as we tramped through my neighborhood. Her tense nervousness of the watchful eyes of God must have rubbed off on her kids, as they only lasted about 20 minutes and were done, ready to go home. My little munchkin, dressed as an Elvira wannabee, managed to collect about 10 pounds of candy before tiring out. My husband did end up taking her out for part of this as after about 1 1/2 hours, I'd run out of nun jokes and hot buttered rum and so it was his turn.

I asked Mary's mom and sister why she was obsessed with Catholic Guilt and they didn't know because they hadn't gotten it, so I guess its not contagious to all Catholics. I did check the internet (the source for all my knowledge, you can find anything or any viewpoint on the net) and discovered a website that explained about Catholic Guilt. That's how I knew it was a disease. It's like a flesh eating virus. Very resistant to cures and almost impossible to get rid of completely.